el 30 de mayo

first off, happy birthday shout out to russell and a nicaraguan happy mother's day to all the mothers on the email list. i love you all. thanks for all you have taught me, and know that you are all part of the reason that i am here on the mission.

this week was an interesting rollercoaster. i have come to find out that when i feel good about the week, i have to double check my pride. after all the things that have happened in the mission, there are few days that my "good feelings" result in actual good things. we started out thinking that all would be okay and that we would finish the week with success, but we didn't. we let our confidence take us to heights we were supported to go to, and we fell hard. from a high of a baptism and seven investigators in church, to a weekend with a baptism and only one investigator, it was a hard pill to swallow. but i have finally learned the lesson, and it won't be repeated.

this week, hermana pastora pulled out the strings with the good food. one day, she made my favorite dish, jalapeño chicken, and i was overfilled with joy. (picture attached.) we thought we were going to have to move houses today, but like any smart man, president russell wants to barter the prices down before he accepts the first offer. we have another month in the house of hermana sughey, before we really do have to be out. i look forward to the adventure of moving out, and two weeks later being home!

this week, we had the opportunity to go and look for some old investigators and find out some of their biggest doubts and concerns again. we found out that we were taking something for granted: their religious background. come to find out that several of our investigators have little or no religious background and so all this time we have been spitting information at them and it's had little or no impact or better yet, it's been a turn off. but we changed our game plan, repented, and away we went. 

this week, i had to up my game in the scripture study. i have to the goal to finish the doctrine and convenants before i finish my mission, which means five pages every day. and with only have thirty minutes of study time to dedicate to that, it's been great to see how the studies really have changed. i am also nearing the end of jesus the christ  and it really is a book i recommend to all. it's long, and daunting, but you will not regret it. a favorite comes from doctrine and covenants 58:2-5

::blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven. Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand. Remember this, which I tell you before, that you may lay it to heart, and receive that which is to follow.::

the lord does not promise us to take away our trials and tribulations, but yes, he does promise to lift us up. in these moments, the saints were in the process of moving to ohio and moving eastward. there were many more trials and difficulties coming their way, but the crowing glory was given. to be able to see the first modern day temple raised must have been an amazing moment.

today was interesting, we are going to celebrate mother's day with all the family members of the landlord, because she is about the age of my mother, but has never been married or had her own children. we will be her daughters today. :)

hermana vasquez is someone that i get to know better and better each day. there are rare moments were i know the whole story because it's not something that she tells me. you have to listen to every comment and be careful to link it all together. like a big puzzle. she is the youngest of five living siblings on her mother's side. her father has had a rough love life, having had two girlfriends get up one day, take her three children, and move away, never to be seen again. she doesn't like to read, but loved being mischevious in high school. she and her best friend were enemies for two years before they decided to be best friends than best enemies. she worked for a call center type company before coming out and loves, loves, loves button ups. she's the most interesting companion i have had, and i absolutely love her. this is a picture of the district. zls, us, then the other two elders. elder lopez (guatemala), elder carbajal (honduras), me (the only greenga), hermana vasquez (honduras), elder antuna (dominican republic), elder patzan (el salvador).

the older lady, is a crazy one. she's angie's mom, and has been coming back into activity. she made us food, something that i have come to notice as a sign that the members are starting to love you and recognize you as a servant of the lord (please read matthew 10 for all doubters.) this week, she gave me and sister vasquez an engagment type ring, but if worn on the right hand, just looks like a pretty ring. i love the nicas; they are just so crazy sometimes...
love you all! until next week,

hermana graves

el 23 de mayo

this week was full of interesting adventures. first off, we had a baptism of the cutest little rascal ever, moises. of course, the baptismal font was dirty, because we are the only sisters in the zone, so we got to clean the elders' baptismal clothes, and the baptismal font all in the same morning. lots of laundry detergent and some bleach had the font gleaming and smelling like a swimming pool for moises's baptism. 

moises's sister, myself, moises

doctrine and convenants 43:15-16 teaches us...

::hearken ye sisters of my church, whom I have appointed: Ye are not sent forth to be taught, but to teach the children of men the things which I have put into your hands by the power of my Spirit; And ye are to be taught from on high. Sanctify yourselves and ye shall be endowed with power, that ye may give even as I have spoken.::

we are sent for the preach and teach, not to let others come in our way and teach us. we are to be bold and have a fiery tongue like that of Stephen, Paul, or Peter. testify of Christ at all times, in all things, and in all places, and the words will be given as we speak. what greater blessing is there?

this week several miracles happened. tuesday we worked with the zone leaders in their area, and it was an adventure. lots of ups and downs, hills and mountains and honestly, i almost couldn't do it at one point. but i told myself, that if christ could die on calvary, i could follow my leaders and preach the gospel to every man and creature, whether or not they live five kilometers up the mountain. because we spent the afternoon in their area, there wasn't a lot of time to work in ours, but we have lots of interesting results. sunday, we had seven investigators in church, something that has been a scarce thing for about two months. several closed doors were opened again, and we are finding new investigators where i thought we wouldn't and couldn't. the lord truly is good.

i love you all, and hope that this week is blessed with the little moments. it's something that i hope to treasure in the change to come because it will be my last. changes will be next wednesday, and it's all coming to a close. i made my last agenda this morning, and the outside says "por un tiempo... para la eternidad." for a time, for the eternity. something that came to mind. here, it's only a dedicated time of eighteen months. something that goes by so quickly. but i do it so for the eternities. i go all day, every day to be able to enjoy the eternity with these beloved people. 

all my love,

hermana graves

el 16 de mayo

this week we had interviews with President Russell, and for all those ex-missionaries, and for that current missionaries as well, know how much anticipation that can come from waiting for the interview. three months of waiting for his words, and it all comes down to about twenty minutes of question and answer. sometimes it's not all pretty. but something that i realized about three months ago is this: the mission president is just trying to help me gain my salvation and correct me along the way so that i can be a faithful and dedicated missionary. my tender mercy moment this week was my twenty minutes with president russell because it helped me realize how much he really does know me, one of the hundreds (almost a thousand) missionaries that he has had in the mission. it was great to have the time to talk about my area, talk about my concerns, and see how i can change. 

a favorite scripture from doctrine and covenants 38:41

::let your preaching be the warning voice, every man to his neighbor, in mildness and in meekness.::

every member a missionay, folks.

my favorite person this past week would have to be christ. i have been taking the opportunity during my personal studies to read from jesus the christ, a book that at first was just too daunting. but i starting reading it, and now i almost can't put it down. the love that the world's perfect man showed to die for us, and then humbly and patiently appear to his begriefed friends. these men and women didn't understand the doctrine of the resurrection, and the fact that the tomb was empty was something so big for them that it stopped all other possibly thinking processes. but slowly, one by one, christ helped them see past the empty tomb to the salvation and the light that stood beyond.

the hardest trial this week was seeing the missed opportunities. a small nagging comment in the back of my head had told me that we should go to one of the upper parts of our area. and i just kind of brushed it away. with the time, we found out that the elders success of 15 baptisms last weekend were all from our area. located exactly where the upper part of our area is. fifteen baptisms that counted for the elders, from our area.... it was hard to realize the consequences of ignoring the spiritual impressions.

a favorite food this week, cuajada. it's a super salty, creamy cheese. it's the white clump near the noodles in the food picture. this is something normal for lunch: corn tortilla, rice, and something like spaghetti noodles with cheese. yummmmm.....

i love you all more than words. this is the view from one of the edges of our area. the statue is of agusto sandino, one of the founders of a political parties here, and the arbol de la vida. 

hermana graves

el 9 de mayo

this week was one of the hardest weeks in my mission. having a close family member die is a little heart wrenching and honestly not something that i had in mind to be able to process. but thanks to some advice from a zone leader how had a similar experience, i was able to give the whole thing over to the lord. i know that i will be able to see him again. the life to come has become something to look forward to now. 

thanks to a loving mission president, i was able to talk with my family twice this week for the above mentioned sudden passing. the first was something awful, out of medical television series, but it was something that i am glad i got to do. the following hour was dedicated to earnest prayer and fervent cries for comfort and help. a voice said, it will be okay. i am here with you. i wrote about the day in my journal and closed the book. thursday was a new day, and i had no time to think of anything more than my investigators. sunday i was able to talk with my family again, and what a joyous moment it really was to hear them. there weren't any tears, and it was better that way. the next couple of weeks can't pass by quick enough.

this week we were able to have four investigators in church. one of our converts, eusebio (an older gentleman who works as a security guard) brought his wife to church, angie and her mother made it time to come to our ward's sacrament meeting, mioses is all ready to go for his baptism the 21st and then denis made it to church. the lord was grinning as we saw 17 confirmations take place during the afternoon ward's sacrament meeting. how wonderful it was to see. 

a scripture that has brought a lot of comfort to me this week is found in alma 40:11-12,

::Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life. And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.::

and something that i read in our heritage, by president howard w. hunter,

::if you have troubles at home with children who stray, if you suffer financial reverses and emotional strain that threaten your homes and your happiness, if you must face the loss of life or health, may peace be unto your soul. we will not be tempted beyond our ability to withstand. our detours and disappointments are the straight and narrow path to Him.::

the weather this week was warm, and it rained all day on thursday. we have entered the rainy season now! :)

lots of love, from angie and i

hermana graves

el 2 de mayo

alrighty people, things are getting a little bit more real. but i love you all the same.

After having fasted and prayed to be able to bring  all of our investigators to church, it was a little saddening to see that not a single one came, and it took a lot of humility not to burst out in anger. But the lesson in Relief Society was exactly what I needed to hear. The topic wasn't even about the Atonement, but the teacher asked, "what does the Atonement have to do with missionary work?" and I thought of the video The Atonement and Missionary Work, that my zone leaders showed us in Jinotepe a few months ago. It is a compliation of a few talks given by President Eyring (Act in All Diligence) and Elder Holland (Missionary Work and the Atonement), and video that I highly recommend to all to search on YouTube. The Atonement is why I am here. Without the precious moments in which our Lord and Savior poured out his soul and his strength for each one of us, we would not be able to receive salvation. The entire message that we as missionaries share, the Restoration, the Plan of Salvation, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Commandments, the Laws and Ordinances, would be in vain. It would literally have no purpose. I have always thought that my Gethsemane in my mission was Pancasan, because it never went my way and no matter how much repentance I thought I was doing, it never got better until the very end. But I think yesterday was another Gethsemane moment. And we were honestly ready to drop every single investigator that we have in the vision, or with a baptismal date, and start completely over. But then we visited an investigator, at eight oclock last night, and a miracle happened. Carlos hasn't been a postive investigator since Sister Hussey and I started teaching him. He went to general conference, and we lost contact with him. The weeks went by and we didn't really focus in him. When Sister Vasquez came into the area, the first day, we went and contacted him again, but he still wasn't progressing very well. But then last night, we went and visited him and every thing was different. He had read the Book of Mormon, he told us that he believed in the Restoration, and he was going to complete his baptismal goal of the 21st of May. I know that some times God takes good things away from us to make room for the better. I know that He sent His Son to die for us so that the entire message of the missionaries could ring true in the hearts of the people prepared. This is why I am here, to preach and bring the world His Truth.

moments like these are defining for my testimony. have the faith that the lord knows the bigger plan.

hermana graves

p.s. a picture of the divisions we did with the sister leaders this week. this is sister morales, who came with me to nicaragua, but won't finish her mission until august.

 this week's delicious lunch picture :)

el 25 de abril

a new companion, but the same, good ol' san juan! sister vasquez is my new companion, and it's an interesting day in the neighborhood always. sister vasquez is from tegucigalpa, honduras, about thirty minutes from the temple. it's a little hard being with a spanish speaker after being with another greenga for almost five months, but it's good for my spanish and even better for hermana vasquez's english!

hermana sugey and hermana vasquez, my new companion

we are working really hard. i am bound and determined to have success and just blow out the ward this next change. we have a high goal of ten baptisms in may and it's going to be something hard, but something that is worth the pain. it was really disappointing to only have five investigators in church, but the five investigators we did have in church are progressing. please continue to pray that we may have success.

i had the wonderful opportunity that almost every missionary, and almost every convert, wishes to have happen: to be able to go back and teach them after you have left the area. jefri, one of my and sister gomez's converts from last may, has moved recently into the san juan ward's boundaries and i was able to share with him and give him a couple of machetes again. i am praying to know how to help his wife become active and excited about the church as well so that she can be a part of the grand family of God forever.

this week we were focusing a lot with one of our investigators, denis, about the importance of obedience. there are some things that he has been completing lately, namely his prayers about the book of mormon and the restoration. we all know, that if an investigator, a member, or a less active read and pray about the book of mormon and the restoration, that almost every other doubt just goes flying away. it's all based in whether or not the book of mormon is the word of god. and so we read a scripture with him in doctrine and covenants 59:23

::But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.::

those that are obedient and do righteously, will gain their reward. 

this week, we didn't eat anything abnormal, but we did eat this really good spaghetti. here, it's something normal to put chicken in their spaghetti sauce made with ketchup. the salad was something divine, and please note the small amount of rice that occupies the plate. i have to find some way to loose weight before i come home!

today was something small and low key. we cleaned the house, washed clothes, and made some ramen noodles with hardboiled eggs, an attempt at a recipe from home. (minus all the vegetables that go with it... there just wasn't enough excitement to go fancy.)

i know that i will have at least another five weeks in this area. i am hoping to finish my mission here in san juan, but we will have to see what the lord has in plan for us. i know that these things are true, and even more than that i know that jesus christ is our savior.

for god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, to save us from our sins. there had to be a remission and christ volunteered so that you and i could return to live with our heavenly father. christ had such pure intentions that not even in the darkest hour, when he was completely alone did he revoke his divine call as the savior and redeemer of the the world. the pain was something overwhelming, even so that he didn't realize how hard it was going to be. but he never gave up. not my will, but thine be done. 

what can we do to have a more christ-like attitude this week?

hermana graves

el 18 de abril

first, to start. we finished last week's pday with a late lunch at a four star restaurant. fachentas and everything. the first time in nicaragua that i have seen a menu in strictly dollars, and the first time in my life that i have paid more than $15 at a sit down restaurant. but, it was well worth meyling's birthday, and her face after she opened her birthday gift.

the second picture is one of our investigators. she and her sister are trained by their father in acrobats, and if you can see in the background, her little sister is in the ribbons. that's right, we found little teenagers who know how to ribbon dance. it was intense, and i will not be attempting it. this little girl, neyelis, is balancing on three tubs. it was soo amazing, and i was admittedly jealous, but what are we going to do? i just cant do that.

this week, we really didn't eat too many interesting things. but sunday, it's always a tradition to have gallo pinto, hard boiled eggs, and some other varied accompaniments. yesterday, sister pastora decided to make a few tortillas, and she let me help. and thanks to watching the nica women do it so often, i was able to make a few perfect tortillas by hand. simply delicious.

this week was very much like the little train that could, that ended up crashing half way up the hill. all week, feeling confident, completeing with the normas, working hard, preparing everything for sunday morning, and in the moments before church, nothing. an investigator that had been without drinking six days, admitted to us that the night before, right after we had talked with him, he had gone drinking. another one of our investigators, all ready to go, had been almost a month without drinking, disappeared for thirty minutes and showed up in the park drunk. satan cannot win, and i won't let him do it either. harder. better. faster. stronger. all through Christ.

we had an amazing experience with some contacts. we had contacted the couple a few days before, and had left the restoration with them. we went back last night, and had a picnic/pow wow, with them. we shared the message of the restoration and the spirit was strong. they understood it, and they both accepted a baptismal date. they commited themselves to church, and all for saying buenas at the right door.

elder mateo is finishing his mission tomorrow and so we had a party to say goodbye.
we had some fun with a pinata made to look like him. i'll have to show you the videos when i get back.

this week i have been studying revelation this past week, and it's been interesting to see the signs of the times. friday morning i was reading in chapter eight, and at the end of the chapter, an angel cries in heaven. john has finished describing the happenings of four of the seven angels in the seventh seal. an angel then comes forth and says,

::Woe, woe, woe, to the inhabiters of the earth by reason of the other voices of the trumpet of the three angels, which are yet to sound!:: 

woe, in the scriptures, is a sign of great grief and much sorrow. those who do not repent are warned of what is to come. and in the end of chapter nine, it describes that even after all that has happened in the six seals, there are some that remain, and remain in their sins,

::the rest of the men which were not killed by these plagues yet repented not of the works of their hands, that they should not worship devils, and idols of gold, and silver, and brass, and stone, and of wood: which neither can see, nor hear, nor walk: Neither repented they of their murders, nor of theirsorceries, nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts.::

these people have seen the third of almost all the earth destroyed, and they are so hard hearted that they refuse to repent not. brothers and sisters, are we those that have seen the hand of god destroy his creations, or do we call unto god and repent of our sins? may we all be humble and ready for the coming of the lord.

lots of love. may the lord protect you always

hermana graves